What is forgiveness to you? Old approach..
Some people equate ‘Forgiveness’ with being ‘weak’. On my end, that doesn’t ring true anymore. Yes, in the past I was one of those people. The thought was that if you loved me then there was no reason for you to hurt me.
Thankfully lessons on how this approach had made me rigid and unyielding, how much this approach was alienating me from love, peace and joy. But especially how easy it is to fall into a victim mentality when one believes that every one who hurts them is out to hurt them allowed for a thought process change to occur. Don’t you love when that happens?!
New approach …
Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a chance to make amends. Most of all, we ALL deserve a chance to be at peace and most times that is what forgiving someone brings to us.
When we look at human relationships, it would be hard pressed for any one of us to think that there will be no strife … of course that is based on the assumption that we are being authentic, genuine and not fake in the relationship and that we are actually being real with sharing our likes, dislikes, opinions etc.
And just by that single fact of life I have learnt that forgiveness and strong, respectful relationships go hand in hand.
So while it took me a while to learn …. One of the lessons I am most grateful for is the understanding that forgiveness is not something I do for the other person. It is something I do for myself.
To get clarity, to self evaluate, to grow and most of all to renew the trust and extend kindness both to myself and the other party.
I have learnt that when forgiveness enters the equation in any relationship, it signifies that you are holding the relationship higher than whatever mistakes the other party made, that you are indeed strong enough to let go of your anger and move on.
I also feel that I should STRONGLY make it clear that there is a LINE between a healthy relationship where people mess up and are genuinely contrite ….. and one where one of the parties treats the other as irrelevant and does the same thing over and over again … In that case.. LEAVE, RUN, CUT TIES forgive and change your address and phone number 🙂
