The day was here, I had finally said yes to him. We were going forward with our many plans that had been just at the sidelines waiting for my YES!
It was a whirlwind of completion and I was ever so grateful that we had already discussed so many of the things that needed our agreements and compromises beforehand.
Nonetheless, it was a good 3 months of finalizing plans and boy did I learn some life lessons!!.
1. Material Things While Great Are The Least Important Part Of The Day.
One of the things that made our day amazing was having both of our parents there. Joe had his mum and dad, I had my mum. Because of the short notice we weren’t expecting any of the mamas to make it on time. Imagine our utter surprise and shock on top of the pleasure when they both made plans and travelled all the way from Kenya to see us wed.
It would also be remiss if I didn’t mention all the other family members and friends who travelled not only from other states but from overseas for the occasion.
Needless to say, my biggest lesson that day was … Love in any form is the purest gift you can give or get.
2. Compromise … The grease for that squeaky wheel.
For any who know me, I can be a tad headstrong. I do like things a certain way. However, my lovely husband who is almost always so gracious with me had 2 requests for our wedding planning. That the color red be incorporated and that we self fund it (we had always planned on doing this anyway). Now, this may seem like arbitrary requests but when I tell you that he so rarely asks… It was an easy yes from my end. Our wedding colors were White, Red and Black. It was gorgeous as far as I am concerned.
P.S: The initial colors picked by me were blush pink, navy and accents of teal/aqua.
3. Priorities Matter
When you are getting your plans in order, you will find there are many facets that come into play. You will need to prioritize what is the most important to you. We wanted a venue that pretty much delivered a package deal. With 3 kids none of us was getting to the venue to decorate or corralling a caterer on the wedding day. So for us our priority was a venue that had catering, plenty of dancing space, ample area for the DJ, outdoor space and ability to set up the room for us before we got there. We got all that and more for a fabulous price. What was not high on the list – wedding dress, flowers, cake, bridal suites etc. We still got some pretty great deals but we were fine with skimping on these.
So talk it out and find those things that are each persons priority and get to planning.
4. D.I.Y … Its worth a try.
Full disclosure, I love DIY projects. I have painted 3 out of 4 of the condos we own, I built my daughters beds and Joe and I built our own bed. So I love DIY. I wish I had more time.
For our wedding it seemed moot to buy place cards or programs while I could make them myself. You will be surprised how cheap a template is and how quickly you can put them all together and print. I used staples for the place cards and the printer for the programs.
I didn’t have time to do the centerpieces but if you do… Go for it!!!
In life, take a chance and attempt something that you don’t think you can do, paint a wall, bake a cake or even bread from scratch, make diy stain remover. There are many ways to save money in the home and I was grateful that I was able to incorporate those money saving skills into my wedding.
5. Time is precious.
In all honesty, the hair and makeup session with the ladies was longer than I wanted it to be. Which meant that we were late for our photo shoot (we were doing it before the ceremony and festivities). Then late for arrival at the venue and so on and so forth….A big life lesson on that day was to roll with the punches and let bygones be bygones. While I struggled with this because it is not who I am, I learnt that not everyone will be you and that somedays, giving them grace is essential for your peace of mind. Until this day, I embrace that lesson tightly.
6. Your Friends Will Show Up
I want to take a minute and highlight Joes friends in this life lesson. His boys showed up and showed out, and I was so happy for him. They respected his wishes, his best man constantly called and asked how he could help with the planning or just to check on him with the season of planning. He got money saving tips and stress relieving ideas etc etc. I could gush on and on. To say I was impressed is an understatement. The reason I am especially highlighting this is, all that his friends did in terms of making it an easy season of planning passed on to me tenfold. Joe listened when I vented or was stressing, was thoughtful when an opinion was needed, comforting when I felt let down and all around a strength for me when I needed it. It made the biggest difference to me and allowed us to have an amazing day.
7. At Some Point You Have To Cede Control!
I love feeling like everything is under control…. Is this just me? This to date was my biggest lesson. Sometimes, you can plan to oblivion and things will still not turn out as you planned. Hair & Makeup ran late – hence hotel charged an extra nights fee for the bridal prep room it also meant that photos ran late. There were more speeches than planned – hence less dancing time. All these things were things that marred the day but I chose not to concentrate on, control doesn’t always mean you will succeed in your plans and those happenings did not take away from the day.
So, in life and as a lesson I am slowly and painfully putting into practice, enlist the help of those around you and be fine with the results. It can be a huge relief.
